Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
