it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
