i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
