You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
