What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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