Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
