he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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