Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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