How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
