her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
