Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
