If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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