Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
