So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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