the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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