haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
