My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
