you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
