Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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