lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
