I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
