Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
