you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
