Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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