Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
