i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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