Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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