he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
