we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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