I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
