I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
