No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
