I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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