Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
