You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
two words...techno handjob
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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