Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
