He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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