yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
ok first of all what the fuck
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
