i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
