i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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