okay pat passed out under dana's car
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
