turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Operation Purity has been aborted
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
