party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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