i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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