Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
