You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize