I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Dicks are not precious.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
