i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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