Will you blow on my dice?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
