I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
